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Daily Deviation
Daily Deviation
December 1, 2008
The Grammar Gangsters by ~CyberPhantom is a very colorful poem that pokes fun at several grammar techniques: and does it with a fun and witty flair!
Featured by LadyLincoln
Suggested by Xovvo
Literature Text
Beware the grammar gangsters!
The mafia of the literary underworld.
They saunter into stanzas,
Weapons concealed
Under their trench coats
Or in violin cases.
They can make you talk,
"With just a few well-placed speech marks,"
Leave you shouting! Where you should have whispered!
And pulp your bold statements into quavering questions?
They can, pepper, your, phrases with, commas,
Or bring your piece to a dead.
Full.
Stop.
They'll trap you (between brackets)
As you - dash - to the exit.
Then: punch a blunted colon
Into the gut of your text
Or worse;
Force-feed you a poisonous semicolon,
Then hack/slash your work to shreds.
The grammar gangsters
Never leave survivors.
Readers discover the victims
In the back alleys of the library,
Bloodstained,
Left unfinished,
In a tommy-gun ellipsis...
The mafia of the literary underworld.
They saunter into stanzas,
Weapons concealed
Under their trench coats
Or in violin cases.
They can make you talk,
"With just a few well-placed speech marks,"
Leave you shouting! Where you should have whispered!
And pulp your bold statements into quavering questions?
They can, pepper, your, phrases with, commas,
Or bring your piece to a dead.
Full.
Stop.
They'll trap you (between brackets)
As you - dash - to the exit.
Then: punch a blunted colon
Into the gut of your text
Or worse;
Force-feed you a poisonous semicolon,
Then hack/slash your work to shreds.
The grammar gangsters
Never leave survivors.
Readers discover the victims
In the back alleys of the library,
Bloodstained,
Left unfinished,
In a tommy-gun ellipsis...
Literature
In Three Acts
man
cliff
sea
cliff
man
sea
cliff
sea
man
Literature
compulsive liar.
once i asked you your favourite
colour, and you said, "the brown
of your eyes," so i put in one green
contact and told everyone that i
came out of the womb as a factory
defect, half-priced, damaged goods.
-
sometimes i am from canada and
sometimes i am from england and
sometimes i am from spain.
i've carefully tempered my accents
and plotted out my stories with
yellow and purple coloured pencils
on index cards. my origin changes
like the seasons.
"why do you lie to everyone?" you
ask.
"why not?" i reply.
-
i wear nametags that read "alicia"
and "liana" and "samantha," because
i want to know how it feels to be
someon
Literature
Notice of Intent to Stalk
Form ITS1993(d)
Notice of Intent to Stalk
Date: ___________
Print or type name of Stalker: _____________________________
(known henceforth as STALKER)
Print or type name of person to be Stalked: __________________________
(known henceforth as STALKEE)
Please be notified that effective this date the above named STALKER has filed an official Intent To Stalk Declaration targeting the above named STALKEE in accordance with Obsessive/Compulsive Personal Pursuit Code of Conduct Act of 1993 (OCPPCCA93).
I, STALKER, hereby declare Open Season upon you, STALKEE, and pursuant to OCPPCCA93 section 1, paragraph 5 intend to engage in the following
Suggested Collections
Featured in Groups
My entry for the Writer's Workshop competition: Punctuate with Purpose.
1: I almost always punctuate my poetry. As an English Language student and an actress, defining pauses and emphasis (especially in a more interpretive form of writing like poetry) are very important to me.
2: Considering the way I wrote this poem, there weren't any lines where I had to reconsider what the punctuation would be. It was more a case of making the line fit the punctuation than the other way around.
3: This is a new poem, inspired entirely by the theme: punctuate with purpose. I didn't feel there were any places where I had to force the puncuation. If anything, like I said above, the words were more difficult to find naturally.
4: I'd like the readers to smile a little and go, "That's kind of clever...I like that. Is that all the different types of punctuation there? I bet she's missed one. Hang on, let's have another read and check..."
Critiques are my life force. Without them I will descend into darkness. Help me out here.
~:~
EDIT: Thanks for everyone who's favourited this, commented and/or watched me. I have tried to respond to as many people as possible, but I'm drowning somewhat.
So, as general thanks:
THE GRAMMAR GANGSTERS:
tip their fedoras to you
1: I almost always punctuate my poetry. As an English Language student and an actress, defining pauses and emphasis (especially in a more interpretive form of writing like poetry) are very important to me.
2: Considering the way I wrote this poem, there weren't any lines where I had to reconsider what the punctuation would be. It was more a case of making the line fit the punctuation than the other way around.
3: This is a new poem, inspired entirely by the theme: punctuate with purpose. I didn't feel there were any places where I had to force the puncuation. If anything, like I said above, the words were more difficult to find naturally.
4: I'd like the readers to smile a little and go, "That's kind of clever...I like that. Is that all the different types of punctuation there? I bet she's missed one. Hang on, let's have another read and check..."
Critiques are my life force. Without them I will descend into darkness. Help me out here.
~:~
EDIT: Thanks for everyone who's favourited this, commented and/or watched me. I have tried to respond to as many people as possible, but I'm drowning somewhat.
So, as general thanks:
THE GRAMMAR GANGSTERS:
tip their fedoras to you
© 2008 - 2024 CyberPhantom
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I don't know how I ended up at this deviation, but I'm glad I did. Super cool.