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The Grammar Gangsters by ~CyberPhantom:iconCyberPhantom:



Beware the grammar gangsters!
The mafia of the literary underworld.
They saunter into stanzas,
Weapons concealed
Under their trench coats
Or in violin cases.

They can make you talk,
"With just a few well-placed speech marks,"
Leave you shouting! Where you should have whispered!
And pulp your bold statements into quavering questions?
They can, pepper, your, phrases with, commas,
Or bring your piece to a dead.
Full.
Stop.

They'll trap you (between brackets)
As you - dash - to the exit.
Then: punch a blunted colon
Into the gut of your text
Or worse;
Force-feed you a poisonous semicolon,
Then hack/slash your work to shreds.

The grammar gangsters
Never leave survivors.
Readers discover the victims
In the back alleys of the library,
Bloodstained,
Left unfinished,
In a tommy-gun ellipsis...
©2008-2009 ~CyberPhantom
:iconcyberphantom:

Author's Comments

My entry for the Writer's Workshop competition: Punctuate with Purpose.

:iconwriters-workshop:

1: I almost always punctuate my poetry. As an English Language student and an actress, defining pauses and emphasis (especially in a more interpretive form of writing like poetry) are very important to me.

2: Considering the way I wrote this poem, there weren't any lines where I had to reconsider what the punctuation would be. It was more a case of making the line fit the punctuation than the other way around.

3: This is a new poem, inspired entirely by the theme: punctuate with purpose. I didn't feel there were any places where I had to force the puncuation. If anything, like I said above, the words were more difficult to find naturally.

4: I'd like the readers to smile a little and go, "That's kind of clever...I like that. Is that all the different types of punctuation there? I bet she's missed one. Hang on, let's have another read and check..."

Critiques are my life force. Without them I will descend into darkness. Help me out here.

~:~

EDIT: Thanks for everyone who's favourited this, commented and/or watched me. I have tried to respond to as many people as possible, but I'm drowning somewhat.

So, as general thanks:

THE GRAMMAR GANGSTERS:
:attila: 8-) :toocool: :threaten: :mib:

tip their fedoras to you ;)

Daily Deviation

Given 2008-12-01

The Grammar Gangsters by ~CyberPhantom is a very colorful poem that pokes fun at several grammar techniques: and does it with a fun and witty flair! (Suggested by ~Xovvo and Featured by ^LadyLincoln)

Comments


love 8 8 joy 5 5 wow 3 3 mad 0 0 sad 0 0 fear 0 0 neutral 0 0
:iconleegasp:
THIS IS AMAZING.
I have been sitting at my laptop, wondering when some inspiration would hit me... In the meantime, I just checked the new additions to Devart.

You are TALENTED. I just wish I could write something as clever as you did. :D

--
I was going to post something, but I totally forgot what.
:iconkilalarocks236:
this is really cool! ^^ keep up the good work!

--
IM the girl your mother warned you about!

COUNTRY
I come from the dirty south,
so behave and watch your mouth,
my home town is itti-bitti,
but more crunk than your big city!

ride it like you stole it ;D
:iconphan-tas-ma-go-ri-a:
:giggle:
I'm glad that was supposed to be humourous.
Because it made me squee delightedly on the inside.

As for critique... Uhm...
I'm no good at that because I grew up trying to find good in everything.

--
... but now that I think about it, I'm prolly wrong. To Wikipedia!
:iconcyberphantom:
Yay! The sheer fact that you squee'd inside is constructive to me.

Or at least it'll make me squee quietly too :giggle:

--
Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind - Dr. Seuss
:iconcyberphantom:
Thank you very much! I shall do my best!

--
Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind - Dr. Seuss
:iconcyberphantom:
Wow...thank you very much :) I hope you find your inspiration soon!

--
Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind - Dr. Seuss
:iconphan-tas-ma-go-ri-a:
Good.
That makes me very happy. And it took no effort at all.

By the way, I hope you don't mind that that story that was kind of made out of the frustration that you had missing keys on the keyboard kind of made me write something about one of my own OCD (more specifically, tearing out paper from a notebook).
I have to say, it certainly cleared out a couple of blocked passageways in my brain.

--
... but now that I think about it, I'm prolly wrong. To Wikipedia!
:iconpoordude1089:
epic. no other words are necesary.

--
Strangers passing in the street
By chance do separate glances meet
And I am you and what I see is me...
:iconcyberphantom:
Thats awesome! Send me the link. I demand it.

--
Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind - Dr. Seuss
:iconmirageode:
haha! funny. :)

the dead stop part, though, i feel, needs to be more emphatic. maybe leave out the conventional punctuations from the other lines when you're not trying to make a point about them (the punctuations)? it will make your use of them more significant. :)

--
kmtr

"Men must live and create. Live to the point of tears."
- Albert Camus

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November 10, 2008
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